I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
