so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I want her autograph on my taint
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Randomize