Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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