so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.â€
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