As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
