just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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