I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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