If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
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