Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
NoShamevember. You game?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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