Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
