i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
