We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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