i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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