she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
