Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
