NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
