what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize