dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He shit in the fireplace
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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