I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
