Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize