is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
