Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
