I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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