if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
