Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
