guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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