It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
