TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
