I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
