My friends, they love my intelligence
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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