No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
