butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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