Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
