I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
