What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
