She said her name was "party"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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