watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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