Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I believe in your delicious
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize