Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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