Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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