just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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