I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I deserve this hangover.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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