im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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