You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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