The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
