It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
