He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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