Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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