she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
