I want to stick my p in your. b.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize