no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize