walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
