Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
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