Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
