so explain again why im purple
no
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
