I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
