the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
