Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
