i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
