Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Randomize
