i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
