get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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